This is a joke

not a call to violence. I've not followed this story, but apparently a Lutheran program was taken down from the Missouri Synod radio line up

It takes a lot to get Lutherans to shift into activist mode. We pretty much believe if you’re agitated about something, you’re probably a Baptist. And any kind of ventilation (like breathing) is frowned upon for fear of a charismatic renewal. So believe me, Issues, Etc. is going to come back in some form, somewhere. It’s just not a good idea to get Lutherans angry. Last time this happened, historians ended up calling it the Thirty Years War.

Full story.

An interview with Molly Ziegler Hemingway on Issues, Etc. If you've been concerned with pop Christian faith, church growth movement and emergent church in your denomination, you might want to listen.

You might be a Lutheran if. . .

I've seen this several times, and laugh every time. It's on the end of a Garrison Keillor piece about singing with the Lutherans, which is delightful, although I'm not sure who added it. A friend forwarded it today, so I'm adding it for a chuckle--my comments are in brackets about our congregation, UALC. Parentheses belong to someone else.

The following list was compiled by a 20th century Lutheran who, observing other Lutherans, wrote down exactly what he saw or heard:

1. Lutherans believe in prayer, but would practically die if asked to pray out loud.

2. Lutherans like to sing, except when confronted with a new hymn or a hymn with more than four stanzas.

3. Lutherans believe their pastors will visit them in the hospital, even if they don't notify them that they are there.

4. Lutherans usually follow the official liturgy and will feel it is their way of suffering for their sins. [Not at UALC.]

5. Lutherans believe in miracles and even expect miracles, especially during their stewardship visitation programs or when passing the plate.

6. Lutherans feel that applauding for their children's choirs would make the kids too proud and conceited. [at UALC we've been applauding at least 30 years for the children, and occasionally the organist after the postlude]

7. Lutherans think that the Bible forbids them from crossing the aisle while passing the peace. [at UALC we wander around during this greeting time]

8. Lutherans drink coffee as if it were the Third Sacrament.

9. Some Lutherans still believe that an ELCA bride and an LC-MS groom make for a mixed marriage. (For those of you who are not Lutherans, ELCA is Evangelical Lutheran Church in America and LC-MS is Lutheran Church Missouri Synod, two different divisions of the same Protestant religion. And when and where I grew up in Minnesota, intermarriage between the two was about as popular as Lutherans and Catholics marrying.)

10. Lutherans feel guilty for not staying to clean up after their own wedding reception in the Fellowship Hall.

11. Lutherans are willing to pay up to one dollar for a meal at church.

12. Lutherans think that Garrison Keillor stories are totally factual.

13. Lutherans still serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color of the season and think that peas in a tuna noodle casserole add a little too much color.

14. Lutherans believe that it is OK to poke fun at themselves and never take themselves too seriously.

And finally, you know you're a Lutheran when:

*It's 100 degrees, with 90% humidity, and you still have coffee after the service;

*You hear something really funny during the sermon and smile as loudly as you can;

*Donuts are a line item in the church budget, just like coffee;

*The communion cabinet is open to all, but the coffee cabinet is locked up tight;

*When you watch a 'Star Wars' movie and they say, 'May the Force be with you', you respond, 'and also with you';

*And lastly, it takes 15 minutes to say, 'Good-bye'.

May you wake each day with His blessings,
Sleep each night in His keeping,
And always walk in His tender care.
Shared by a Lutheran

An interesting footnote

This footnote I'm about to quote (#10) appears on p. 863 of v. 2 of "What Luther Says," (Concordia, 1959) and references the content of a letter Martin Luther had written to Count Philipp von Hesse in October 1529. The discussion concerned what the church fathers said about the real presence of Christ's body and blood in the Lord's Supper, and Luther says to the Count it was a comfort to know that their faith which rested solely on God's word was witnessed to in the church. The editor's footnote to this one sentence, reports that among Lutherans of the era the church fathers

"were cited as witnesses, not judges. . . When a generation later, Martin Chemnitz examined the canons and decrees of the Council of Trent, two words of his revealed the great change that the Reformation had introduced. He quoted the noted axiom which Vincent of Lerins (died ca. A.D. 450) had coined: that the Catholic faith is quod semper, quod ubique, quod ab omnibus est creditum (what has been believed always, everywhere, by all) but significantly added ex Scriptura (from or on the basis of Scripture)."

For this the editor cites W. Elert, Morphologie, I, 252f, and adds for modern day readers, "This is the Lutheran position."

This is an amazing layering of citation skill, showing how detailed and careful the editors of this work were. 1) the letter of 1529, 2) in which Luther cites a colloquy with Zwingli and his followers, moving ahead a generation to 3) Martin Chemnitz examining the Council of Trent, 4) Vincent of Lerins, 1100 years before, 5) all of which is recorded in Elert's work, citing the German, not the English translation, 6) and apparently in a footnote [I think that's what the lower case f refers to] of that piece, and finally, 7) the editor's statement: This is the Lutheran position.

Now, if Lutherans could just agree on what scripture says we'd be good to go.

One flock, one shepherd, many sheep

It's difficult to keep track of the battles ongoing among Lutherans--never mind all the other Christians. And don't think for a moment just because they give allegiance to one church, that Roman Catholics don't have great diversity among their parishes and orders. I may never live long enough to understand how we are all Christians.

The other day I was reading an advice column from WELS--Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod. A woman, who apparently attends an ELCA congregation (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America) somewhat reluctantly, was asking if it was proper to once a year attend a Mennonite service out of respect and in memory of her dear saintly mother, who was a Mennonite. Her concern was apparently worship participation with those Christians who were not confessional Lutherans. The e-pastor gently but firmly chided her for worrying about 1/365 of the year, when the 364 other days she was subjecting her mind and spirit to the teachings of the ELCA!

Then today I came across the webpage of the Church of the Lutheran Confession, which is even more exclusionary than WELS. It will not fellowship with a number of Lutheran bodies because of "unionism," which is not labor unions, but churches which keep their own polity, adhere to the Lutheran confessions, but cooperate with each other in some form. Lutheran Church Missouri Synod (LCMS) from which the CLC evolved in the 1930s is beyond the pale because although they don't ordain women, women are allowed a voice in the church by voting, and LCMS fellowships with WELS in some areas, which taints WELS, for CLC.

At the other end of the spectrum, I looked at a webpage of an ELCA pastor who attended our congregation when he was in seminary here in Columbus--don't remember the year, but probably late 80s. They were a wonderful family and contributed so much to our small group Bible study which they joined. Both husband and wife were gifted Bible teachers--although his English was better (both foreign born). The seminary in Columbus is very liberal, but he was able to get by with his strong Biblical views because they needed minority students. Looking at the various things he's involved in, he seems to now be a gay pastor supporting the marriage of gays, lesbians and transgendered. The web page of his church and the organizations where I found his photo and name do not seem Biblical to me. So at that end of Lutheranism, I would seem as narrow as the CLC decrying women being allowed to vote as unbiblical.

Fortunately, Jesus will sort this all out when he returns.

Using a hymnbook for devotions

We do not use the 1995 "With One Voice" hymnbook in our Sunday worship at UALC. In fact, we rarely use a hymnbook at all since the words of the hymns are cast on a screen (I don't like this, but someone thought Lutherans needed to have their hands free of books--smile). I'll address the Confession at a later time after I've done a little research. I checked out a copy from the church library. A few of the hymns are . . . underwhelming. Others fresh, even if the range looks a bit challenging for us older folk. I did notice the awkward detours around male pronouns--then you see Father and Son are also scarce. (Diety in many modern hymns and prayers if mentioned is gender neutral and described by function.) The exceptions are Spirituals, or something very old and unsingable from the Didache or possibly a Latin chant. This removal of the male pronouns puts a heavy burden on the overworked first person pronoun--I, me, my, we, us, etc. Then the gender and diversity themes start to rise.

Oh, Praise the Gracious Power (Text by Thomas H. Troeger, b. 1945)

vs. 3
Oh, praise inclusive love,
encircling ev'ry race,
oblivious to gender, wealth,
to social rank or place.

This one will probably not make the next cut (after all, this hymnbook is already 13 years old and missed the gay marriage battle).

As Man and Woman We Were Made (Text by Brian Wren, b. 1936)

As man and woman we were made
that love be found and life begun
so praise the Lord who made us two,
and praise the Lord when two are one:
praise for the love that comes to life
through child or parent, husband, wife.

This one is quite scriptural, but I haven't tried to sing it.

"I Am the Bread of Life" (text: John 6, adpt. S. Suzanne Toolan, SM, b. 1927)

"I am the Bread of life.
You who come to me shall not hunger,
and who believes in me shall not thirst.
No one can come to me
unless the Father beckons."
"And I will raise you up,
and I will raise you up,
and I will raise you up
on the last day."

I say Amen to that!

Some familiar gospel hymns appear too, always a joy to read through, such as "Softly and Tenderly Jesus is Calling," or the wonderful sending hymn (Welsh tune) we often use at UALC, "Go, My Children, with My Blessing," or the great Fanny Crosby's "Blessed Assurance." She was blind and wrote 8,000 hymns, so it would be difficult to leave her out of a hymnbook that wants greater representation by women. I also hummed through a few toe tapping Catholic hymns we sing in Cursillo.

407

Lutherans and Catholics drink a lot of beer

Organizers of San Francisco’s Folsom Street Fair — sponsored by Miller Brewing Co. – have portrayed Christ and his disciples as half-naked homosexual sadomasochists in the event’s promotional advertisement.

I think Miller Brewing Co. should hear from some Lutherans. They shouldn't just pull their logo, either, but all sponsorship money should be returned, all advertising pulled, and Christians should stay home.

"Miller Brewing Company has decided to pull its logo from a "Last Supper" poster-featuring homosexuals and sex toys-advertising the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco, Calif. But a Catholic group is urging the company to cut all ties with the homosexual "leather" street fair." CNS news