Our Lady of Liturgical Abuses

Vox Lauri is a Roman Catholic librarian with a lot of health problems and a quirky sense of humor. After attending Mass at OLLA she stops at a Walgreens to buy hair dye where she encounters "burly man" who sat next to her in church. She tells quite a wild story.

"Around the store all the employees were talking about the fight: burly man tried to stop a shoplifter. I immediately thought that wasn't too bright, as in burly man could have gotten killed to save Walgreen’s the loss of a talking fish plaque or Chia Pet. The police arrived and took a statement, promised to look for the thief; their promise almost like someone asking how you are or wishing you a nice day, trite and expected."