314 The Barbara Walters Special on Heaven

So far, I haven't come across anyone who watched her special on December 20, nor did I see any comments in the paper last week. Did it bomb? I mean, if someone wanted to know about heaven, would she ask Barbara?

"“Although Barbara Walters’s intent should be commended, her content should not. She confused rather than clarified the issue by giving equal weight to popular authors, near-death experiences, movie stars, religious teachers and pastors. She merely surveyed various opinions in a show that should have been titled, ‘Heaven: Have It Your Way.’" BP News

Last March I took one of those Internet "A quiz of cat lovers" and learned I was going to cat lady heaven. So I wrote this.

"I'm going to "cat lady heaven" because I treat a small mammal with fur and whiskers and a crooked tail well. It's a cute quiz, and fortunately I already know I'm going to heaven, but not because of my cat, and not because of anything I've done right.

Actually, I'm not sure of the preposition to use, whether heaven is up, over, in, around or through. Scripture is rather vague about that. In an odd turn of events, the earth, the country, the towns that we know so well are what is transitory, and the Christian's real citizenship is in heaven. (Keep that in mind flag-wavers.) Space and time is something we only need on earth, so I suppose the preposition really doesn't matter--heaven is where God dwells and "God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away." (Rev. 21:3,4) In order for heaven to have no tears and sorrow, maybe you'll need to have your cat or dog--I'm sure it can be arranged."

313 Today at the library

Check my other, other blog for this story on Christian magazines at the public library, then take a look at yours.

"I'd sort of gotten out of the library habit because the internet is so easy, and recently have gone back to checking out about 4 or 5 journals a week--not always the same titles, but maybe JAMA, or NEJM or Kiplinger's or Forbes. But I'm a shelf reader, and although I'd been aware that the public library isn't the place to find Christian material, I was a bit taken aback when I realized there was only one evangelical Christian magazine (Christianity Today), but there were 15 or 20 serial titles on films, entertainment, jazz and rock. Films were particularly overly represented in the collection."

312 Thus sayeth the Lord

Two years ago my bookclub was reading "In the Beginning," which is about the King James transation of the Bible. I wrote the comment in my other blog, which was my only one then:

"But most interesting was learning that the verb forms ending in “-eth” were most likely pronounced as “s” in the early 17th century. English isn’t phonetic in many words (through, tough, plough), and although the people were pronouncing “sayeth“ as “says” and “giveth” as “gives,” a hundred years later when the 1611 version really became almost universally used, no one corrected the pronunciation while reading. There are no recordings of how people spoke. The closest we have to English as spoken in the 17th and 18th century is our own Appalachian people in the U.S., since it is no longer spoken in England."

311 Turn Your Radio On

I'm finishing up some Christmas cards that I missed earlier in the month. I've got my Bill Gaither video tapes in the living room vcr and the volume cranked--"Turn Your Radio On" and "Old Friends." I love these old Gospel, swing and sway, emotional songs for listening, just not for worship. I think these were made in 1993 and 1995--many of these performers who were up in years then, have since died. I think his purpose was to capture some of them while they could perform, but the series became so popular now it's sort of become an institution. "Turn your radio on" is the one I have on now. I particularly like Cynthia Clawson, but it is very difficult to find her on CD since she's not the "current" contemporary Christian music anymore. (And I refer to impulse buying at stores, not going on-line.)

310 A Jew speaks out about Christmas

“Hanukkah menorahs are never referred to as ''holiday lamps" -- not even the giant menorahs erected in Boston Common and many other public venues each year by Chabad, the Hasidic Jewish outreach movement. No one worries that calling the Muslim holy month of Ramadan by its name -- or even celebrating it officially, as the White House does with an annual ''iftaar" dinner -- might be insensitive to non-Muslims. In this tolerant and open-hearted nation, religious minorities are not expected to keep their beliefs out of sight or to squelch their traditions lest someone, somewhere, take offense. Surely the religious majority shouldn't be expected to either.

As a practicing Jew, I don't celebrate Christmas. There is no Christmas tree in my home, my kids don't write letters to Santa Claus, and I don't attend church on Dec. 25 (or any other date). Does the knowledge that scores of millions of my fellow Americans do all those things make me feel excluded or offended? On the contrary: It makes me feel grateful -- to live in a land where freedom of religion shelters the Hanukkah menorah in my window no less than the Christmas tree in my neighbor's. That freedom is a reflection of America's Judeo-Christian culture, and a principal reason why, in this overwhelmingly Christian country, it isn't only Christians for whom Christmas is a season of joy. And why it isn't only Christians who should make a point of saying so.” Jeff Jacoby, “De-Christmasing Christmas

Visually challenged or just inconsiderate?

Our Visual Arts Ministry hung a show Saturday morning at our newest campus. We'd decided a few months ago to do a rerun of our inaugural show of 2001. For that we gathered as much of our home made art as we could find. Our recollection was that much of it had colorful Advent and Christmas themes. We'd photographed and cataloged it five years ago, so we had a record. Most of the art is in banner form--some felt, some burlap, some elaborate paintings on a coated fabric (looks like window shades), some metal sculpture, and one 3-dimensional mobile of the nativity. We didn't use any quilts because next month we're having a quilt ministry show. Six of us spent about three hours lugging ladders, sorting through musty storage in the basement, using a warm iron to smooth wrinkles, debating aesthetics and hanging the art. We have an Arakawa Hanging System.

The storage area was a disaster. People have just been stuffing things in there, tying stuff with string, or laying heavy things on top of fragile. Some of the banners we used in 2001 were just missing. Yesterday my husband and I went to the old campus and found some of the missing pieces stored behind the stage of fellowship hall, folded, wrinkled and with furniture laying on top even though we have specially design hanging space in the other building. We dusted them off and lugged them over to the gallery space today where we had to rehang a number of pieces to get the show to work right. There we discovered that whoever was in the building over the week-end (that could be many hundreds) had pushed tables up against the banners all up and down the halls--I suppose they were serving coffee or food, or maybe having a book sale. Who knows. Fortunately, I had brought an iron along to smooth out the ones we'd found, so I could use it to press out the creases left by the tables pushed up against the art.

In the catalog of sins for which Jesus died, this is not a big one. But we continue to be amazed that in a large, talented congregation of well educated people who are filled with empathy and sensitivity to many areas of Christian endeavor and service, particularly music and drama, we six seem to be the only members out of several thousand who give a fig about art. We care about ugly coat racks, and messy bulletin boards, and posters taped to mirrors in the rest rooms. Our teeth are on edge at flags and posters left up for years to advertise missions.

We aren't in this ministry to pretty up the building, as some people think. (We get a lot of thank yous from members who enjoy the shows.) We do it to draw people to the church who might never enter the building otherwise. I believe we have the finest gallery space in the entire Columbus metropolitan area.

Well, it's done now, and it looks nice, especially the missing pieces which have all been reunited (it was a series). Sort of like we'll all be in heaven.

Femspeak and Gay Marriages in the ELCA

The November 2005 issue of First Things is on-line and has an article by Robert Benne reporting on the 2005 Churchwide Assembly in Orlando, of the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA) in August. The status quo was confirmed, so both the traditionalists (i.e., those who trust God's word) and the revisionists are staying put and not bolting the synod. But you know who's going to get their way eventually, don't you? The revisionists. Progressive Protestantism is taking over all the main line denominations and it's gutting the churches of believers. Read the whole article here.

What they couldn't stop is damage to the language. The historical creeds, hymns and some psalms are getting the feminist hatchet job. Perhaps it will be the final death blow for real hymns--remove any words that have a male pronoun. Father and Son are on the ropes. Then we can all sing praise choruses and forget any theology that might hint at the Trinity.

"For instance, the leadership proposed—and the assembly affirmed—a process that will lead to a new hymnal, which will alter the words of the Nicene and Apostles’ Creeds so that hypersensitive feminists will not be offended by masculine language. In the Nicene Creed we will avoid confessing that Christ was “made man.” Rather, he “became human.” In the Apostles’ Creed we will evade a masculine pronoun for God in the second article. Instead of “We believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son,” we will now confess that “We believe in Jesus Christ, God’s only Son.” The ELCA is now willing to risk a heretical formulation of the Creed in favor of femspeak. (In a Trinitarian formula the Son is Son of the Father, not of the Triune God. The Son of the Triune God would be another God.)

Many of the Psalms are to be rewritten to circumvent masculine pronouns. A hymn, paraphrasing the twenty-third psalm, changed “The Lord is my shepherd” to “God is my shepherd.” The “Renewing Worship” materials used at the assembly shunned “Father,” “Lord,” and “Master,” all replaced by “God.” Not one ELCA official allowed a “his” or “he” to creep into a speech. The presiding bishop even used the horrific neologism “Godself” a number of times."

Are you in an orange barrel church?

Navigating the programs offered by our church reminds me of a construction zone with orange barrels. Just when I get comfortable with a program or a direction, someone puts up a detour sign and puts those orange barrels in the road. I was reading a document yesterday--4 pages that could have been written in one--that mentioned we are replacing "Network" with something else--what I don't know.

Network was supposed to direct all our current and new members to the right area of service for Jesus to match their passion, gifts and personal style. I was (am) a member of the Visual Arts Ministry, and because the Bible says almost nothing about the arts, and because our congregation seems to be artistically impaired, we got no referrals from all their efforts of screening probably a thousand people.

I resisted even participating for a long time, because I don't like being put in little boxes. But once I was a "table facilitator" for a new members class and everyone, including the leaders (old term), had to jump in and complete it. Here's how it played out: My passion was "purposeful, intellectual activity; my spiritual gifts were wisdom, administration and prophecy; my personal style was unstructured task. (I'd never heard of blogging at that time, but I think this describes a Christian blogger.)

If you've been active in a church, no matter the size or denomination, you'll know that no pastor or lay leader wants a member who tests high on "wisdom and prophecy." Especially not a woman! Administration is OK because then you can be put in charge of the book sale, or the collation of the annual report.

Prophecy is described in Network as "challenging listeners simply and practically with the truths of scripture, giving attention to detail and accuracy." Wisdom is "proclaiming truth in a timely and relevant manner for understanding, correction, repentance or edification." These are not spiritual gifts to be envied or coveted.

Maybe it's being dropped because members started taking it seriously?

Hungering and Thirsting like the rest

After listening to me vent yesterday my husband's eyes got big, and he said, "You need to find a different church." Not we, but you, I noticed. So that's not going to happen. We went through this in 1976 and it was traumatic. Just awful. It was like getting a divorce from all our friends. And now we're 30 years older. You don't throw that away for a temper tantrum.

So in the afternoon I took myself to a coffee shop with my little notebook, and with an extra jolt of caffiene, I made notes on what I wanted in a church. What would I be looking for if I moved to a different community?

The big one for me: Worship.
1) A sermon for believers that includes the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. Our hope. Something to keep us from navel gazing for a week. Something that says this isn't about you. It doesn't have to be the whole topic, it doesn't have to have an altar call, but the pastor has to let me know why we have gathered for worship.
2) Music--not rock 'n roll, happy clappy, or praise choruses. Not song leaders hugging microphones with closed eyes and thrusting pelvis. Not "me, me, me" songs. Something from a hymnbook so I don't lose my skills for reading music.
3) Liturgy--it would be nice to have the liturgy every Sunday, not just occasionally. I wouldn't look for this in a Methodist or Presbyterian church, but yes, I would if I were visiting a Lutheran church.

The next big item: Teaching, Solid and Biblical.
1) Can be Sunday school or small group. Would really be nice if led by a pastor, but a good lay leader will do. Mid-week opportunities.
2) Strong women's fellowship. Or is that women's strong fellowship?

And to put faith to work: Service opportunities beyond the church walls.
1) Schools.
2) Prisons.
3) Food pantry/clothing sites.
4) Hospitals/nursing homes.

Sadly it is worship, my first priority, that often fails me here. Teaching and Service are top notch. The gospel from our pulpits (10 services) is so hidden or buried, that I make a check mark on the bulletin if I hear it! It has made me the most attentive person in the pew! How hard can it be to remind us each and every week why we have gathered? What would it take? Two or three sentences? That still leaves time for the personal anecdotes and theological word studies and the challenges to go out and do, do, do.

I'm afraid to bring a seeker to our services--what if she liked the building, or the music or the location or the friendly faces, and didn't notice Jesus hadn't been invited too? I'd hesitate to invite new neighbors who were believers and seeking a church home. What if they listened as carefully as I do and moved on?

"I love to tell the story,
For those who know it best
Seem hungering and thirsting
To hear it like the rest.
And when, in scenes of glory,
I sing the new, new song,
'Twill be the old, old story,
That I have loved so long."
Katherine Hankey

Lutheran Hymns on-line

It has been awhile since I looked at this site, and I'm going to add it to my links. Lutheran Book of Worship (LBW) has been added, and I don't believe it was there the last time I looked. Our pastors are mostly from the old American Lutheran Church synod (Scandanavian in tradition), our worship leader is a former Presbyterian, and our choir director for the service I attend comes from a Baptist tradition. Most of the time it's "words projected on the screen," instead of holding a nice hymnbook and singing what you see. So I'll have fun going through this web site and remembering the "good old days."

He who is pregnant

with evil and conceives trouble gives birth to disillusionment. Psalm 7:14

Somehow, I'd missed this reference to men becoming pregnant in the Bible. I watched an old Cosby show (1984-1992) the other night where he was dreaming he was pregnant, as were his son, and two sons-in-law. Moaning, groaning, and hormones out of control funniness. The son gave birth to a sports car, one son-in-law to a small boat, and Bill had an enormous sandwich followed by a liter of pop. The women, Claire and her daughters, were assuming the usual platitudes and asides usually attributed to men.

303 What is a bad Christian?

It's an oxymoron, say Pastor Cholak of Gordon, NE. He saw the phrase in the local paper which provides space for an essay by one of the local churches.

"What happens to a bad Christian? Are they sent to purgatory? Do they have bad things happen to them? Does Satan have his way with them for a few hours? NO, no, and no! Christians are Christians because of the doing of Christ, not because of the doing of the person. Christ says in Matthew 25 that when he comes again he will separate all the people of the nations into sheep and goats. He doesn't say anything about bad sheep...and a goat is definitely not a bad sheep - ITS A GOAT! There are sheep and there are goats. There are righteous and there are unrighteous. Noah was counted righteous by God and therefore was chosen to build the ark...but every inclination of the thoughts of Noah's heart was only evil all the time. He was righteous because the Holy Spirit gave him faith. He was called righteous because God was merciful. A Christian is a Christian because Christ's blood marked his forehead and his sins were taken away by the death of God on the tree of Calvary." more

Sheep don't ask for their wool to grow, he says. It grows because they are sheep and that's the way good works are. And sheep don't become sheep because they can grow wool!

"You don’t ask your good works to come forward, yet they come and your good works don’t make you a Christian - your being a Christian makes the works good. You are righteous because Christ has made you righteous. Christ has called you by name, he has shed his blood for your sake, he forgives all your sins and presents you as GOOD to his heavenly Father."

I had this very conversation with a young man last night--only I didn't say it nearly as well! Thanks Pastor Cholak!

302 Christian band gets the gate, not the take

Wright State University, down the road here 'bout 80 minutes, disinvited a Christian band because they wouldn't tone down their message.

(AgapePress) - A Christian band at Wright State University in Ohio says it has been the target of religious discrimination by the school. "The Ambassadors" recently accepted an invitation to perform at a WSU homecoming event, but the university backed out at the last moment and replaced the Christian music group with a secular band.

The move to bump the band came after the University Activities Board asked the Ambassadors to modify their lyrics for the campus event by removing any religious references, something the band was not willing to do. Sophomore Jason Seidler, a rhythm guitarist and vocalist for the Ambassadors, says the Activities Board members argued that the school could not use public funds to pay for a religious group.

Actually, I don't think the band should sue. Leave that litigious whiney stuff to the atheist and agnostic entertainers. God will bless when you do the right thing. Righteousness is its own reward.

301 Thinking about France

The riots in France are with us in the evening news. This Welsh pastor, Alan Davey loved his job, but decided to go to France to be a pastor about a year ago. In September 2004, he wrote:

"Then about 5 years ago we visited France for the first time. If Spain is needy, France is very needy! Lots of factors became important in my mind. 60 years ago British people fought hard for France's political freedom. But what of her spiritual freedom? Shouldn't we work harder and more sacrificially for that? I seem to be able to learn languages. Pat is plucky and adventurey and is willing to go. The kids are young enough. We have no parents. If we can't go, who can? But how, with whom and where? There didn't seem to be any obvious path ahead. Till UFM & Bordeaux. It seemed that God was opening a door."

More recently he wrote:

"The rioters are described as immigrants. In fact they were all born in France. Their parents or even grandparents came to France, but still they are referred to everywhere as immigrants. I think that speaks volumes in itself. It's even slightly shocking. It indicates a failure to integrate the "new French" or even to accept them. It's especially shocking when you consider that, like Britain, there is no genuine French archetype. Everyone came here from somewhere else if you go back far enough. Even we Celts arrived from central Europe back in the mists of time!"

The blog is Daveys to France.

300 Five centuries of Lutheran Musical Heritage

Thrivent Financial for Lutherans has produced the most fabulous collection called "Celebrating the Musical Heritage of the Lutheran Church" and I've just listened to all five centuries! Actually, I listened to the 18th century three times--Bach. If I read the web page correctly, this only available at Lutheran churches. I checked it out from our church library.

New art show at UALC

The UALC Visual Arts Ministry is sponsoring the Ohio Plein Air Society Fall Show at our Church at Mill Run, which is located at 3500 Mill Run Drive, Hilliard, OH 43026. The show will run until December 9. Check the website for directions or map, www.ualc.org. Don't know what Plein Air is? I just found a really terrific site. I assume this blogger is posting her own work.

298 All Men are Liars

This is exerpted from one of Pastor Petersen's Nuggets to pastors, All Men are Liars, and this particular section is about the "children's sermon." Our church has one at the traditional service, and yours does too, probably. He provides an angle that I've never thought of--that it takes us out of the uncomfortable presence of God. I'll have to think about that.

"None of us is rational in what we want or like. We often don't even know what the real issues are. For example, consider the so-called "children's sermon." Children's sermons serve an important liturgical role in the congregations that have them: they take people out of the uncomfortable presence of God. The ceremony of the children's sermon is key thing, that is: the parade. It is about watching all the children march up to the front. It is a chance to relax and laugh and enjoy a little show. But they'll never tell you that. They'll tell you that it is about teaching the faith or involving the children. It is a waste of time to argue about whether or not children's sermons teach the faith or involve the children. Those are not the real points. The people that advocate these things don't care about Doctrine and Practice. They'll say they know what they like but they won't admit that what they really like is the parade. And if you don't like the ceremony, then they will take that to mean that you are against children. Emotionalism rules at every corner. One woman crying at the microphone is all it takes to turn a synodical vote. Wading through all of this and guiding them to the higher ground takes wisdom only God can provide. That wisdom always looks like utter foolishness to men. And through it all is the fundamental reality that you are really no different than them. You just have different issues."

Pastor David Petersen is at Redeemer Lutheran Church (LCMS) in Fort Wayne, IN.

297 The Pope's first encyclical

At a Catholic blog I read that the first encyclical of the new Pope will be presented on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception and will evolve around the theme of the Centrality of Jesus Christ for the life and mission of the Church.

I think that's very smart. Put down some basics. Let the folks know what doing church is all about. There are a few Protestant churches who ought to get on board with that idea. Yesterday I received a plan of organization from a church I used to belong to. I'm not sure why since I haven't received any polity notices from them for years, but perhaps they got the newsletter labels (which I still receive) instead of members' labels. Anyway, it said its mission is to nurture its members, seeking ever to bring them more and more to the stature of maturity in Christ, and to be related, as God's instrument, to the problems and the needs of the world. That was sort of the explanation of the "Great Commission."

I don't know about you, but that would have never brought me to faith. Come to think of it, I didn't have any faith in Jesus Christ when I was a member there.

296 Christian Film makers of the Future

Check out Rebelution, a blog site by twin teens interested in film for a very exciting look at film making.

295 A Prayer for The President of the United States, and all in Civil Authority

Sometimes, whether you are a red stater or blue stater, you've got a problem with President Bush. Here's a nice neutral prayer from the Daily Office According to the Book of Common Prayer, 1928.

O Lord, our heavenly Father, the high and mighty Ruler of the universe, who dost from thy throne behold all the dwellers upon earth; Most heartily we beseech thee, with thy favour to behold and bless thy servant THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, and all others in authority; and so replenish them with the grace of thy Holy Spirit, that they may always incline to thy will, and walk in thy way. Endue them plenteously with heavenly gifts; grant them in health and prosperity long to live; and finally, after this life, to attain everlasting joy and felicity; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.