Do couples still get married in churches?

                        

Recently at our Faith of our Fathers group (FOOF) at the UALC Mill Run church we were discussing the removal of most religious/Christian content from public education textbooks and courses despite its inclusion in the founding documents. But maybe we should be looking closer to home.

Today I picked up (free) a copy of Columbus Bride at Giant Eagle. You'd be hard pressed to find any religious content in the wedding photos--hardly even a church or cathedral. Lots of country clubs, old barns, the Atheneum (which has sort of a faux chapel), Franklin Park Conservatory, old wineries, city streets, parks, and party barns. Maybe it's the interior of the modern churches which look like theaters and party houses--so why not just rent one or take the photos outside?

When we were in Russia in 2006 we saw so many weddings in the public square--in front of government buildings, fountains, parks etc. They had 70 years of Communism. What's our excuse?

                

Cross posted at Collecting my thoughts

Churches need to separate from the state

This is wrong. Morally and ethically and pragmatically. It weakens the churches and prevents them from proclaiming their message of salvation to people who are poor, suffering and vulnerable.

From 2006 to 2010, the state spent $11.7 million on its Texas Alternatives to Abortion Services Program, with nearly $7 million of that finding its way to 33 nonprofits (all but one with Christian affiliations) via the state’s primary contractor, the nonprofit Texas Pregnancy Care Network, according to public records obtained by the Texas Independent.

The Alternatives to Abortion Program — funded by state and federal money — was created in the 2005 legislative session for “the development and operation of a statewide program for females focused on pregnancy support services that promote childbirth,” according to the contract between the Texas Health and Human Services Commission and TPCN.

Nearly all of Texas’ anti-abortion subcontractors are Christian groups | The Washington Independent

Whether it's pregnancy services, summer lunch programs, food pantries, tutoring and language services, housing programs, financial counseling or jobs programming, churches need to cut the siphon that leads to the federal and state governments' money tank. If we're not allowed to discuss Christian marriage with the recipient of counseling services, or tell Bible stories while the children eat lunch, then it's time to ask member Christians for more money and tell the feds to get out of your church.

Cross posted at Collecting My Thoughts.

How to meet a woman

For as long as I can remember, women and girls have wanted to know how to meet other compatible women and girls for friendship, hanging out, shopping, girl-talk and shared babysitting. Just yesterday, Sue Shellenbarger answered this question in her work column in the Wall Street Journal. A woman wrote to ask how to find a working mothers group in her locale. Sue replies

1. Do a web search
2. Look in a book store for a book club group
3. Check out the library
4. Call or check the web site of your local Children's Hospital family resource office
5. Start your own group
6. Sign up your child for Saturday activities and get to know other mothers.

Apparently, Sue doesn't think churches are a resource for friendship. In my experience, it's a lot easier to meet other women when you have children in the home. However, churches offer many service opportunities and classes, and these tend to be mostly for women, although some attract couples. So, I don't know if Sue just isn't aware of what's happening at her neighborhood churches and synagogues, or if houses of worship are hiding their light under a bushel except when advertising a concert or bake sale. I have a friend who is active in many organizations, more than I would ever want, and yet she recently joined Bible Study Fellowship, an international, non-denominational women's group that meets weekly at the Church at Mill Run, and she told me how much she is enjoying meeting new Christian friends in her small group. We met about 35 years ago in a church women's group and became friends. Friday I saw another woman from that same group at the coffee shop.

Since I retired I've expanded into my no-comfort zone, occasionally visiting the shut-ins and nursing home and helping in the church kitchen. But everyone new I've met is too busy with grandchildren or care taking relatives to be a friend. I joined a book club when I retired, but only see the participants (except the ones I already knew) when we meet to discuss our book selections. For a few years I painted with some women and we occasionally went to lunch and art shows.

The worst suggestion on Sue's list is to sign your kid up for one more activity so you, the mother, can have friends. If you're employed, your child is either in day care or school and doesn't need one more reason to be away from home! I think one of the reasons mothers love homeschooling is that it gives them a close knit group of friends all working toward the same goal, all with children about the same age, and living in the same area. People not familiar with homeschooling seem to think those children are isolated, but I see them doing many things together involving all the children in the family.

For many years before the 70s, and in many denominations, women were excluded from the traditional boards and political hierarchies in the church, so they just formed a parallel structure with boards, committees, service projects, separate fund raising, and a lot of chat and fellowship. Some of these structures are disappearing now and the ones that still exist have mostly older women. The mixed gender programming of today's churches may be more equitable and make more efficient use of talent, but women's friendships have suffered.

Can churches end poverty?

Maybe--if they toughen their message on chastity and marriage instead of having conferences and meetings about it. In 1970, 71% of all U.S. households were 2 parent families compared to 51% in 2007. Larry Elder says the 38 most important words about poverty are: “Finish high school, marry before having a child, and produce the child after the age of twenty." Only 8 percent of families who do this are poor; 79 percent of those who fail to do this are poor.

If liberal pastors in Columbus would gang up and make as much noise about chastity and fathers not being responsible for their children as they did about Rod Parsley's church, we might see some long term improvement! Parsley preaches that message; the liberal preachers don't.

The editorial last week in our SNP Upper Arlington News by Lyndsey Teter was titled "Can Columbus churches unite to end poverty?" Churches might make a dent in poverty if they would stop focusing on the gap. The Clintons have earned $109 million since leaving the White House and my husband and I have been living on Social Security and STRS pension since they left the White House. We give almost double in percentage of income that the Clintons do, and vastly more than the Obamas, and Al and Tipper Gore's contributions were just a joke (something like $400 a year when he was VP). What portion of Bill and Hillary's wealth would Ms. Teeter suggest we take to even things up a bit? Isn't that what liberals usually suggest? Taking from the wealthy will not solve the hard core problems of poverty. Nor will aborting babies of poor women, or taking canvas bags to the supermarket, or protecting the air in Berkeley with hybrid cars burning Midwestern corn, just to name a few programs that are favorites for assuaging guilt for rich, liberal Christians. The government programs, particularly those funded through the USDA for getting rid of food surpluses by giving them to low income families, have outstripped the churches ability to even make a difference. And they've compromised their message. Millions of federal, state and local workers are dependent on grant money "to end poverty,"--housing, jobs, food, retraining, internships, social workers, researchers, legislative staffers, counselors--to the point that if poverty were to miraculously end next week, we'd put government employees out of work at such a rate that we'd have to start all over! Evidence from the Great Awakenings that took place in this country about two hundred years ago shows it takes a spiritual renewal in the listener which then moves to the community. But if the preachers are silent about the Good News, where do the people have to go except to the government?

Church politics

Occasionally I chat with a church musician at the coffee shop. She's younger than I with college age children. She's moved her family around to different denominations (3 or 4 conservative, evangelical groups near as I could determine) as she has changed jobs. She told me that at some churches she has become very involved, especially when her children were young--taught Sunday School, helped with Bible School, and participated with her husband in couples' Bible study.

In her present job, she participates in nothing--shows up to do the music, then goes home. "It was the politics," she sighed. "I could find no peace and respite for my own spiritual life if I became embroiled in all their squabbles."

Lest you think this is unique to smaller, conservative churches: about 40 years ago I was talking to a neighbor when we lived on Abington Rd. She was finishing up her term on the governing board of what was then the largest, richest and most influential liberal Protestant congregation in Columbus. "It's the most unchristian group I've ever participated in," she said.

When the gospel of Christ is not preached,

those who are suffering in their sins are told by this exclusion that their hope is not to be found in the church. Instinctively, people realize that they are lost. I would go so far as to say that people know in their own hearts that they are spiritually dead. Why else would we advertise revival meetings and why do new teachings arise? As a church, we have a responsibility to lift up no god but the one true God. The one who is a savior to all who believe. We need to lift up Christ in our teachings and our sacraments at all times and remind people that there is life beyond the death that we are born into. Coffee Swirls

The message of the Bible

is not "The Lord helps those who help themselves," but "the Lord helps those who are helpless." Christianity has to do not with man reaching up to God, but with God reaching down to man and offering him salvation as a free, undeserved gift; not with man attempting to justify himself, but with God invading history and making forgiveness possible by taking the sins of the world upon Himself. According to the Bible, we live in a fallen, sinful world, a world populated by men and women who are in rebellion against God and who are thus separated from His loving presence. We all are guilty of sin; we all possess what the church calls "original sin," but which the Bible more accurately calls a "sinful nature." . . . Christians do not gain salvation by their own merit (trying to do so would be like mopping a floor with dirty water), but because the God-man, Jesus Christ, who was the only human to live and not sin, took the punishment for our sin upon Himself. . ." From "Culture, religion, philosophy, and myth: what Christianity is not," by Louis Markos, Christian Research Journal, Vol. 29, no. 2, 2006, pp. 32-39

Salvation isn't earned; it is a gift. Good deeds follow salvation; works are not a means but an outpouring of love. But every Sunday, in thousands of churches in our land, preachers will stand before their congregations and turn this message upside down, offering an endless "to-do list" instead of the gospel.

The "purpose" in Rick Warren's best seller, The purpose driven life, is all about you and me, not Jesus. In fact, I'm not sure he gets to salvation until the end of the book, where he says he can provide a list of books on how to share the Good News (the gospel). He bounces around the NT at such speed, that if I hadn't already known the gospel when I read this book, I'd get to the end with another "to-do list" about the local church and global mission.

The final entry in volume one of the Brethren Encyclopedia (3 vol) says: "Saving faith can be known only by a life of piety and obedience to Christ. Justification (declared righteous) is assured only in those whose faith manifested itself in obedience." What a message of works! For the last 30 years I believed I didn't hear the gospel because my ears were closed and I was rebellious, thinking I didn't need to be saved. Now I think I didn't hear it because it wasn't preached where I attended church (Church of the Brethren and United Church of Christ, one of the parent denominations of First Community Church in Marble Cliff, OH). [This doesn't excuse me--there was enough sin in my life it should have been obvious.] And although I'm in a believing church now with godly pastors, they too often slip into the theme of the day without first announcing why we have gathered to worship the Creator and Redeemer of the universe. [You have a better chance of NOT missing the point if you attend a liturgical service, but most don't because they like happy clappy music.] The gospel settles us down and reminds us of who we are--people precious in God's sight for whom Christ died. Then we can get down to the business of worshiping and serving a mighty God.