Gift suggestion for an artistic friend

Lilias Trotter was a student and friend of John Ruskin in the 19th century, but she gave up fame and a sure career as an artist among his circle of disciples to become a missionary among Arabs in north Africa. But she never forgot the pull of her art, and continued to draw and sketch along with writing devotionals and travel diaries. Her small, hand size books beautifully illustrated were quite popular for over 30 years, then as missionaries and vision statements changed, she sort of dropped out of view. I discovered her this year in a recently issued book "A blossom in the desert," compiled and edited by Miriam Huffman Rockness (Discovery House Publishers, 2007). The author's preface of how she first became the recipient of Trotter's little devotionals and then tracked down her paintings and original manuscripts is a story worth a book in itself--at least a librarian might think so.

Fortunately for those of us with limited funds--or attention spans--the Gutenberg project has scanned one (or maybe more, I haven't looked much farther) so you can see her beautiful, delicate watercolors and read her words, Parables of the Cross.


Look at the beauty and message she finds in a humble dandelion:

"This dandelion has long ago surrendered its golden petals, and has reached its crowning stage of dying--the delicate seed-globe must break up now--it gives and gives till it has nothing left.

What a revolution would come over the world--the world of starving bodies at home--the world of starving souls abroad, if something like this were the standard of giving; if God's people ventured on "making themselves poor" as Jesus did, for the sake of the need around; if the "I"--"me"--"mine" were practically delivered up, no longer to be recognised when they clash with those needs.

The hour of this new dying is clearly defined to the dandelion globe: it is marked by detachment. There is no sense of wrenching: it stands ready, holding up its little life, not knowing when or where or how the wind that bloweth where it listeth may carry it away. It holds itself no longer for its own keeping, only as something to be given: a breath does the rest, turning the "readiness to will" into the "performance." (2 Cor. 8. 11.) And to a soul that through "deaths oft" has been brought to this point, even acts that look as if they must involve an effort, become something natural, spontaneous, full of a "heavenly involuntariness," so simply are they the outcome of the indwelling love of Christ."

Trotter certainly offered up her own life for God, leaving family, friends and fortune to settle in Algiers not knowing a word of Arabic, and the next forty years established 13 missions, called the Algiers Mission Band. According to her biographer, "she pioneered means, methods and materials to reach the Arab people [now] considered to have been a hundred years ahead of her time."

How to meet a woman

For as long as I can remember, women and girls have wanted to know how to meet other compatible women and girls for friendship, hanging out, shopping, girl-talk and shared babysitting. Just yesterday, Sue Shellenbarger answered this question in her work column in the Wall Street Journal. A woman wrote to ask how to find a working mothers group in her locale. Sue replies

1. Do a web search
2. Look in a book store for a book club group
3. Check out the library
4. Call or check the web site of your local Children's Hospital family resource office
5. Start your own group
6. Sign up your child for Saturday activities and get to know other mothers.

Apparently, Sue doesn't think churches are a resource for friendship. In my experience, it's a lot easier to meet other women when you have children in the home. However, churches offer many service opportunities and classes, and these tend to be mostly for women, although some attract couples. So, I don't know if Sue just isn't aware of what's happening at her neighborhood churches and synagogues, or if houses of worship are hiding their light under a bushel except when advertising a concert or bake sale. I have a friend who is active in many organizations, more than I would ever want, and yet she recently joined Bible Study Fellowship, an international, non-denominational women's group that meets weekly at the Church at Mill Run, and she told me how much she is enjoying meeting new Christian friends in her small group. We met about 35 years ago in a church women's group and became friends. Friday I saw another woman from that same group at the coffee shop.

Since I retired I've expanded into my no-comfort zone, occasionally visiting the shut-ins and nursing home and helping in the church kitchen. But everyone new I've met is too busy with grandchildren or care taking relatives to be a friend. I joined a book club when I retired, but only see the participants (except the ones I already knew) when we meet to discuss our book selections. For a few years I painted with some women and we occasionally went to lunch and art shows.

The worst suggestion on Sue's list is to sign your kid up for one more activity so you, the mother, can have friends. If you're employed, your child is either in day care or school and doesn't need one more reason to be away from home! I think one of the reasons mothers love homeschooling is that it gives them a close knit group of friends all working toward the same goal, all with children about the same age, and living in the same area. People not familiar with homeschooling seem to think those children are isolated, but I see them doing many things together involving all the children in the family.

For many years before the 70s, and in many denominations, women were excluded from the traditional boards and political hierarchies in the church, so they just formed a parallel structure with boards, committees, service projects, separate fund raising, and a lot of chat and fellowship. Some of these structures are disappearing now and the ones that still exist have mostly older women. The mixed gender programming of today's churches may be more equitable and make more efficient use of talent, but women's friendships have suffered.